2 Sep

Tabloid Asshattery


Seriously, what the fuck?

Do these people writing “articles” in to these so called “magazines” call themselves “journalists” ? I mean, like are they on a coffee-break, and go like “so.. how is your journalisting going?” -“it’s swell, bob.” ? Do they hit on women in the bar in the after-hours by saying “Hey baby, i write for a magazine.. What do you do?”.

You people are idiots and bringing your title to shame. At least don’t call yourself journalists; take the title..asshat or dickbishop instead. I guess, the fault lies in your bosses, and the owners, and ultimately in the stupid population of this country, who are willing to, time and time again, pay for shit.

Okay, that’s just words on a screen, but just.. take any day. Take today as an example:

“The war of 1918 was extraordinarily expensive!”


“Marja-Leena Kirvesniemi forced to take sex-test”, yeah, in 1991 when she was still an active cross-country skier.

This shit was in the news tens, or even hundreds of years ago. Other shining examples of plainly fucking with readers include “Horrific Formula 1 accident @ Spa!”, yes, in 1973.

I mean, i know there are slow news days, and you need to cheat people out of their hard-earned money even those days, but come the fuck on. Couldn’t you find some piece of shit drying on the wall that looks like jesus, or like, find a picture of elvis or jackson alive? Just try? Or start making news! How about that?

Start jumping down from buildings wearing invisible bungee-cords, in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, and have a special effects team create a life-like corpse on the bottom floor! Or uh.. take an old boat out in to the docks, and sink it with nobody inside?

How a-fucking-bout it guys? Stop writing shit and bringing a shame to your fucking careers. I don’t have anything against news, how frivolous they might be, but fuck! I don’t need to re-read news from 20 years ago! “Man lands on moon!”, holy shit!!!!!!

Edit: Yes, all the news have a spurious connection to the modern day, such as “someone was sex-tested recently”, and “someone wrote a book on the civil war”, and “formula 1 is still dangerous”

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