9 May

Don’t push me now cause I’m close to the edge


Ok so today was one of those days. I figured writing about today’s events would help ease the fucking throbbing pain and dull suffering feeling that I am experiencing.

First i woke up at like 6 AM because my girlfriend noticed her bus-card was .. lost.. at work or somewhere and she needed a ride to work, which starts at 7 AM. So i get up. Drive her to work. And since i’m a fucking retard, i decide to drive to work early. Get to work.Someone else is there too, in-fucking-credibly. And there’s freshly brewed coffee! This day may yet be saved!

The morning is spent doing various administrative tasks, more or less routine stuff, nothing too exciting. Change a backup tape here, check on a storage system there..

Noon rolls around, and suddenly, a task which was supposed to have two weeks left, has to be done on friday. “On friday is good enough, it doesn’t have to be “before friday”, one of my bosses assures me. Great. Calendar already swamped, i desperately try to delegate. Then i come across a Solaris problem. I’m showing a new LUN to a server, and it’s simply not seeing it. Google is full of “Oh run cfgadm -al and all your problems will be gone!”. Well listen pal, they are not. devfsadm, devfsadm -C, devfsadm -c disk, luxadm probe.. whatever i do, the LUN is simply not showing up. And every god damn page is the same, try this fucking magic, it’ll work, i promise! I would like to do a boot -r but as we all know, that’s not always an option.

I try removing some un-used LUNs. That works fine! So it must be talking to the SAN! Re-add the same LUNs i just removed? Not showing up. Na-ha. So i guess i have my work cut out for me.

Don’t get me wrong, i love a good conundrum. But sometimes these things just accumulate and fuck up your day.

Ok so, i leave the problem, which i hate doing, because i have to make it to the bank. The bank, which is supposed to serve the fucking working population, is open only between 8 and 16:30. This is when regular fucking people are at work. I guess physical banks are for pensioners and fucking bums, eh? The problem is, i had some cash that needed to be deposited, and there’s no other way to do that, than to visit an actual physical bank, and talk to some dude, who will look at you funny because you walk in with a wad of cash, thinking you’ve stolen it from somewhere. “Where did you get this money, sir?”. And i’m trying to think of something witty to say, but end up giving him the real explanation: it was just my birthday. I know it’s their job to ask when the deposit is over a certain sum, so uh… terrorists i guess? can’t deposit money to fund their illegal activities. And if i were a terrorist, i’d be sure to say “Oh these? They came from various drug deals and illegal arms trade”

So i deposit my cash, and go to the store, which i already know will end in fucking tears and disaster. Everyone and their grandmother is out shopping because it’s a special fucking day: Monday! So i do my shopping, trying my best to avoid human contact, weaving and ducking inbetween the unwashed masses. I make it to the check-out where, to my dismay, the fat lady infront of me is trying to pay for her shopping with a piece of paper. So i shoulder-surf the paper and see that it’s from the welfare bureau. I look at the check-out lady, who is ready to commit suicide because she has no idea on how to handle this as a payment method, clearly. I sympathize. I sold household appliances for two-and-a-half years when i was studying, and saw my fair share of those notes. They are a bureaucratic nightmare to handle.

So then, as the check-out lady finally figures it out, the fat customer-lady has the audacity to ask if she can swipe her bonus-card as well, and the check-out lady tells her she can’t. So let me get this straight: She gets my money from the welfare bureau and then she wants bonus for her shopping too? I was nearing the breaking point.

I pay for my shoppings, which come out at less than i had expected; just about the only positive piece of news i’ve had all day. I pack my stuff. Prepare to leave. And then i see him: The Shadow.

The Shadow was an infamous nutcase from when i sold electronics back in the day, in East-Helsinki. He would drop by every now and then, wearing the same clothes, and an old casette Walkman (which i doubt played anything). He’d walk into the store, and find a customer who was discussing with one of our sales guys. He’d then smooch up real close to the customer, uncomfortably close, so that they get disturbed, and he’d say things like “That TV is cheaper in this other store!”. He never bought anything, and we always threw him out, because we were not allowed to resort to physical violence.

So there he is, in the flesh: The Shadow. Wearing, probably, the same clothes, the same motherfucking walkman, and muttering to himself. I overheard just one sentence, which was nearly enough to throw me into a homicidal rage: “There’s so many people here because they are playing hockey today on the TV!”. He said this to nobody in particular, and walked at this unnaturally fast pace toward the exit.

I swear i just stood there with my groceries, staring blankly. I hope i wasn’t drooling uncontrollably, but that may not have been far. I made it home, and after ranting about all this to my girlfriend, i had to come and write this down.

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